We are multifaceted beings, with a body, mind and spirit. Maybe you don’t think too much about your spirit. And yet, by not doing that, you are denying yourself an incredible power that you can tap into. So for the next several weeks, leading up to Thanksgiving and the holidays, we’re going to focus on Stimulating Your Spirit.
Last week I discussed the reasons why you want to do that. This week, we’re going to talk about how to increase your faith in yourself because by stimulating your spirit, that’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to be able to appreciate who you are as you are.
Remember when you were a little kid? You had no trouble trusting yourself, right? You didn’t think about, “Am I doing this right?” as you were swinging along on the swing and jumping off, or climbing a tree, or playing with your dolls — you didn’t think about “Am I doing my best? Is anybody noticing? Why am I doing this? Should I do it better? When we’re very young, we don’t ask ourselves those questions. We are in the moment, being our unique creative and joyful self.
Sadly though, as we get older, we start to be concerned about what other people think, especially in the teenage years, right? There are cliques and you want to be with the cool people. So you start to give up your creativity, your own your own inner promptings in favor of what other people think.
That’s part of the problem, why we don’t trust ourselves as we get older. Therefore, it’s no surprise if you’re struggling to trust yourself these days, because that’s what’s happened– you’ve given up on your own integrity, having your own answers, finding your own solutions to your problems.
I think of the line in the Bible, “Be as little children…” In a sense, in order to develop the ability to appreciate yourself, you have to go back, return to a purer state of being where all your focus resides in the context of your own experience… where you can become the observer of yourself and see what it is that you’re doing that’s preventing you from appreciating yourself, and all the experience and expertise that you have.
Keep in mind, though, that this is not like texting a question to your friend and getting an immediate answer. Knowing that doing a certain thing would be good for you is not the same as actually putting it into practice! It doesn’t work that way, or we’d all be calm as cucumbers and as wise as Gandolph. It takes time and a process to get in touch with yourself.
You need to begin somewhere to stimulate your spirit so initially you want to bring your awareness to your thoughts and your feelings, not just your actions, because we tend to push down our feelings about things, especially if people have something to say about it, or they disagree. Therefore, we often negate what we’re actually feeling. And this is where we can really lose traction in having faith in ourselves. Because if you’re not willing to look at the way you feel about things, you can’t be honest with yourself. And if you’re not honest with yourself, how can you appreciate who you are?
It’s not difficult to do. But because we’re so outer directed, we really don’t even think of doing it. So this is a little reminder to notice your feelings, notice what you’re thinking when you are out and about doing things, notice what makes you uncomfortable– especially what makes you uncomfortable! Observing uncomfortable feelings is one of the quickest ways to gain self-knowledge. Honor it and say “I feel you, discomfort, and I’d like to know why. I’d like to know more about that.” Ask yourself. Don’t ask anybody else. Ask your Self because that’s your spirit. And it will tell you, but you have to be listening, of course, and that’s part of what I teach– how to listen to the spirit within.
Self-doubt kills self-confidence. We doubt ourselves all the time because we have forgotten how to trust that inner voice. To stimulate your spirit when you doubt yourself, do this: just slow down, and try to connect with the emotions that you’re feeling. As i just said, you want to get in touch with how you are feeling and let your Spirit tell you what to do next.
Become the observer of the happiness, the disappointment, the anger, the frustration, whatever it is you’re feeling. When you become an observer of it, you’re able to learn how to shift from that experience to a calm center more easily. We exhaust ourselves with our up and down emotions all through the day. When you become entangled in your emotions you will doubt yourself, and later you will judge yourself harshly. (Is this sounding familiar?) So you want to observe yourself without judgment. When you doubt yourself, slow down, and just notice your thoughts and feelings.
Stimulate your spirit by giving your opinions the same respect that you give other people’s opinions. We tend to be so interested in what other people think and believe and feel. And we forget to take our own opinions seriously. We forget to say, “Hey, I know what I’m talking about. I have a right to my opinion. My opinion is just as valid as anybody else’s opinion. And why not pay attention to that?”
How can you really have faith in yourself and know what you’re capable of if you’re not even willing to give your own opinions a chance? In lieu of somebody else’s opinion? Right? So very important, give your opinions the same respect you give other people’s opinions. In this way, you build faith in yourself.
Stimulate your spirit by letting go of the busyness and giving yourself a chance to get to know You. This is part of the process of being faithful to you. That’s why I say this isn’t an instant overnight thing that happens. It’s something that you develop because you see the benefit of being able to get in touch with yourself and say, “Oh, wow, I didn’t know I really was interested in that particular thing. Or, Wow, I could do this!”
When you have faith in yourself, you get new ideas for your business. You suddenly perceive people, especially those in your family who you have some preconceived notions about, in a new light. So, let your spirit be your expert!
I know to be proud of yourself is daunting. I was taught as a little kid that i should never praise myself. That’s bragging. You shouldn’t brag about yourself, right? Especially women, us. We as women were often taught not to be too proud. “Bragging isn’t ladylike.”
Our male counterparts are out there telling everybody in the world how wonderful they are. And that’s okay. But we were not supposed to do that. Because we’re ladies, right? So can You just throw that out? That’s an old belief and one to be well rid of! Celebrate Your wisdom, Your abilities, Your characteristics that have made You the successful person that You are! Have great faith in Yourself.
Peace and love Always,
In my new book, Calm, Creative, Joyful: Lessons in Transforming Your Life, you will acquire abilities you didn’t know you had, to transform the thoughts that hurt so that your life becomes a play of endless opportunities for success and happiness.
Available on Amazon.
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