I want to talk today about something near but not dear to my heart — SOS! This is not an emergency call. It stands for Shiny Object Syndrome. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. Are you an SOS sufferer?
And for those of us who don’t know what that is, (I can’t believe anyone here doesn’t) it’s when i say I’m going to do something, i have every intention of doing it and then i get on my computer and before i know it I’m scrolling through Facebook feeds or following some email trail to nowhere.
Perhaps there’s a guru that sent you an email telling you about his or her fantastic course that you should take, and you say, “Oh, I must sign up!” Those are the shiny objects that prevent you from doing the work that you set out to do in your business.
I know the feeling! In today’s world we’re inundated. There are so many interesting, fascinating things. And if you’re anything like me, as a lifelong learner, I always love to learn new stuff. It’s a real problem because I see something and I say, “Oh, that would be so helpful to me to learn. I want to know more about that.”
I know what it means to get caught up in that shiny object syndrome and not remain focused on what you need to do, because it’s my own experience. I’ve discussed many tips on how to stay focused and not let those SOs grab you and take your attention away from what you really want to do.
But you know something? The real problem is not the shiny objects, not at all! It’s the unconscious excuses that we make that divert our attention from our plan. Because it always goes back to the beliefs that we have about ourselves. “Am I worthy of success? Am I allowed to be wealthy? Do I have the right to have an easy carefree life? Maybe I don’t deserve to have lots of money. Why should I have millions of followers? Who am I to get huge contracts?”
Those are the unconscious tapes ticking away in the back of your mind that are really determining what you do. And you don’t even realize it.
I love to ask questions to get you thinking because it gets the introspective juices flowing and helps you start to investigate your true motives. Self exploration is essential to an Abundant Mentality.
“How do I take care of me?
Let me count the ways:
* physically – eating right, sleeping well, breaking a sweat
* emotionally – owning your feelings, attending your relationships with love
* mentally – challenging your beliefs, always learning new things
* metaphysically – remembering you are a star in the heavens and have your unique part to play
So how do you get to those unconscious beliefs that are slowing you down?
One useful self-discovery method is to take yourself on a ‘date.’ Be curious. Get to know your preferences, your dreams, your doubts and fears. Ask the question, (e.g. What do I like about my work?) and then simply listen, just as you would with somebody you’re dating for the first time.
You want to discover those thoughts that you believe are true for you. They go by so quickly that it’s difficult to catch them most of the time because you’re so busy with external matters. So let me ask you these questions.
1. Do you believe that you need to do it all, that you don’t want any help?
2. Do you feel jealous of other people’s success?
3. Are you in a constant state of overwhelm? Does that seem normal for you?
Alright, so those are three really deep questions to ask yourself to help start the process of self exploration and discovering the blocks you might have to your success. These are not easy questions but they are door openers if you’re willing to grow.
So my suggestion today is to play a game. It’s always good to have fun, right?. Kind of lightens things up, and makes this kind of exploration much easier. I call this game ‘the opposite game’. So, the game begins when you’re ready to click on button that’s going to send you off somewhere– and stop, just stop. Don’t do it.
Instead of chasing that shiny object, take a minute to just think to yourself, “What is a belief that I have about business or my personal life that I’d like to explore more?” Let’s go back to the questions that I asked as examples, just to get you started: do you believe you can do it all, that you don’t need any help? Then say to yourself, “I believe I can do it all. That’s my belief.” Now if you are playing the opposite game, the opposite of that would be, “I don’t believe I can do it all and therefore I need to get help.” Wow, what a novel idea. Help! So there you go! Turn it around. How does the statement feel? Can you get behind it? Does it make more sense than the original belief?
Our second question: do you feel jealous of others’ success? So your belief is “I feel jealous of others’ success.” And if you turn that around, the opposite of that might be “I am excited about other people’s success and I’m so excited about it that I want to send him an email and say, wow, I think what you just did is terrific.”
You simply want to share your enthusiasm and let them know. And the interesting thing, when you reach out like that, is you quite possibly will get a response back, which starts a conversation. It could be someone successful in your local area or in your niche, but once you start that conversation, you have now made a friend. You’ve made a connection with someone who’s a little bit ahead of you in the work. And isn’t that great? That’s great because now you have someone to whom you can say, “Is there anything I can do for you? I’d be happy to.” And you get this conversation going. And then who knows, you could say “I admire you so much. Maybe you could give me a hint or two.” They sure can!
The last question for our game: Do you see being overwhelmed as normal? Then your statement is, ”I am so overwhelmed and It’s just the way it is. I know there’s nothing I can do about it.” Turn that one around. “Feeling overwhelmed most of the time is not normal. I have to recognize that and do something about it.” OK, once you’ve turned that around and realize it is not normal to feel overwhelmed all the time, then you can sit down to start making a list of the things you can do. “I need help so I can take some of the work off my plate and give it to somebody else to do. Or maybe it’s not essential. “Maybe I’m trying to do too many things at the same time and maybe I need to learn how to stick to one thing and get it done.”
A lot of us women are multitaskers so we’re stirring the sauce while we’re feeding the kid, and we’re talking to someone on the phone. That’s normal for us, right? It is very normal to attempt to do many things as quickly as possible. However, that can be self defeating because the sauce gets burnt, you know?
So, those are some suggestions for the beliefs that you can turn around when you play ‘The Opposite Game.’ You will probably have some totally different possibilities. Just play the game and see if you can shift your focus and find some new, exciting, creative ideas that spark your Abundance Mentality. Let those old beliefs go in order to become this vibrant person who has great ideas for your business and your personal life that will bring you success and joy!
Peace and Love Always,
I always tell you that I’m here for you because I want you to know that you have all the answers that you need within you, even if the answer you get is, “Go get help from so and so.” That answer will send you in the right direction so you can be the calm, creative, joyful and successful businesswoman you are meant to be!
By now I hope you know that I teach busy businesswomen how to start the day with intention and an Abundant Mentality. If you would like to have a 30-minute chat with me to uncover some of the blocks that are keeping you from the success that an abundant mentality will offer you, you will find my calendar here to set up a time.
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Everything Begins with a Thought
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