Interview with Tai Vicari-Business & Spirituality go hand-in-hand

Last week I was delighted to have Tai Vicari, well-known social media guru on Long Island, as a guest on my Facebook Live (Fri 1pm @marciagrace.tropin)  We eventually got to talking about how she handles stress but we began by talking about hats, women, spirituality, the earth and cats among other things!

Tai:
I think that in this day and age a lot of people wear multiple hats. And I think we’ve always worn multiple hats, except that now there’s more of an awareness of it. If you think about it, the traditional mom has to be caregiver, psychologist, teacher and a lot of other things. It wasn’t talked about in the past, just taken for granted. Now we’re talking about it openly. We’ve always worn multiple hats as women, and I think there are men that do, too. I was raised by my father only. He wore the hat of a father and a mother and a worker and all those other things. So my spirituality comes from him.

It might be a shocker to many people, but my father actually was an atheist. He didn’t believe in God, but he believed in the Universe and raised us to believe that we are one with what is around us. I’m not saying that I myself am an atheist, but I was raised that way. 

Then I become curious; “Why are we so different? We’re going against everything everybody else stands for in the world.”  So I did take many years studying different types of religions and eventually came to believe in a Higher Power.

And I think we all have spiritual guides. I am super spiritual in a number of ways. I go out when it’s a full moon and absorb the rays of the moon. I enjoy the rays of the sun as well. Those are things that I enjoy doing. I love the smell of rain, and to me the earth is such a powerful entity. And I see people as visitors upon it. Sometimes we’re pests because we destroy, but then there’s other times where it’s like we’re one with our earth. And I really feel that as people, we need to show our love not only to each other, but also to our surroundings, to our planet.

MG:
Please tell us how your spirituality affects your business.

Tai:
How does it work in my business? I feel that you need to be good to people, no matter what. You don’t know what’s going on behind the closed doors of their life. We show one face in public, “let’s put on our Better Face”. And you look at them and think, ”There’s nothing wrong with that person. That person is a million bucks. That person is full of energy.” But you don’t know what’s really going on inside of them. That’s just the face they’re showing.

Then you have those individuals out there–their faces are grim. My heart cries out to those individuals because I feel that those are the ones that I need to take time to pay attention to them. A smile can change a person’s world. 

MG:

Oh, for sure. Oh, absolutely. I’m so glad you said that because I know when a lot of people see someone who’s grumpy, they want to run to the other side of the street. And what I’ve learned is that that grumpy person is suffering, is in pain. That’s why they’re grumpy. Otherwise they’d be happy like I am so I go out of my way to get a smile on that face to take away the pain.

Tai:

Yep. Sometimes it’s as simple as just smiling at them. Just making eye contact. I think a lot of us don’t look at each other. We see each other but we don’t look at each other and those are two different things. I can see a person walking in the street and not pay attention to them, but I choose to make eye contact. As they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. I truly believe that. I was taught that when I speak to someone, I have to look in their eyes. You’re showing them the respect of attention, but you’re also communicating that you’re connected.

MG:

Absolutely!

All right, I know we can talk about spirituality all day, and I’m with you on everything that you said. Because we have a lot of businesspeople listening, please talk about what you do, and how you do business with people. Let’s hear about business. 

Tai:

So basically, I’m in media; I’ll put it that way. I deal a lot with social media, I deal a lot with doing videos. In 2021 my new thing is co-hosting an interview show called Tai and Gina’s Hotspot.

So that is my business now where I interview people. I used to run a networking group where we used to physically meet with each other.

But the thing is that I’m super paranoid this year. I know that some networking groups started up again but I personally am staying with my bubble because of COVID. I’ve had some relatives and friends who passed away from it. So, I’m not taking any chances, especially because my crowd are huggers and kissers.

So, with the business aspect of it, I feel that you have to be personal. And that’s the difference with me. I get to know people really well. I’m not a stalker but I’ll research all of my client’s and guest’s media that I can find, to learn as much as possible about them. They will tell you that I sound just like them if I’m posting as them. And people don’t know the difference. Because I literally pay attention.

MG:

So in other words, you’re doing media for other people. That’s part of your business. What’s the name of your business?

Tai:

Oh, it’s NMS Power1. I’ve been doing media for other people. This year, though, I’m focusing more on the interaction on video.

MG:

You know, I love everything you’re saying and it’s fascinating to hear how you study people so that you can get to their core. And stress is often at the core of many of our friends and colleagues these days. I asked you here because I want to hear your take on how you personally handle your stress. You told me about these different levels and I want to hear about that. Because, as businesspeople, we need to support each other. So please tell us what you do because that may be very helpful for our listeners. How do you de-stress?

Tai:
I de-stress by owning the stress. You know what, we’re businesspeople and at the end of the day, we’re always going to be stressed out about something! Stress comes from worry, it comes from fear, those type of things. “Am I doing this right?”, “I haven’t made enough money.” All these different variables come into play to de-stress so it’s about identifying why you’re feeling the stress.

And that’s why I say there are different levels. An example would be, you give yourself a goal, right? And once you start giving yourself a specific goal, and a deadline to that goal, that’s when the stress hits. Now all of a sudden, you’ve got to get it done right now. So, you have to own it though. You have to say, “What do I have to do?” If I give myself a goal driven situation, I end up writing down every little thing that’s happening. That’s how I de-stress.

MG:

So you actually write it down on paper? 

Tai:

Yes! I literally have tons of spiral notebooks. If I were to pass away, you’d be like, holy crap, look at all of this!  A lot of people would read my writing and say, “What is all this gibberish?” I’m writing, “What’s my problem? What’s causing my stress?” Because you have to identify what it is.

How am I going to do this? Sometimes this type of stress that I’m having is just a tapping situation- I’m late to something. Only, I gotta calm down because I don’t want to go into any kind of meeting being jittery and sounding a little crazy. This is business and I want people to take me seriously. So

I’ll do tapping to calm myself. And that’s how I deal with minor stress. Like I say, write it down, figure it out what’s good, what’s bad about this situation. How can I change this situation? You know, take a different perspective. You can decompress your stress that way.

MG:

Oh, you just said something really important. You said you change your perspective, right? Talk about that a little bit more.

Tai:

So how do I change my approach? Practice. I try to take myself out of the equation. It’s a different way of looking at things when you change your perspective. If you give me an example, I can give you an example.

MG:

Let’s say you’re angry. Somebody did something that annoyed you, so what happens next?

Tai:

When I get angry, I will literally breathe.

MG:

I love it! You’re talking my language! Practically every week here on Calm, we do a breath exercise to get present and relaxed.

Tai:

In fact, I once had a client who was so anxious and anxiety was overtaking her. She became extremely stressed and was yelling. So I sent her an email and I said, “You need to take a step back and you need to breathe. And you need to re-evaluate your situation and look at it from a different perspective.” If you’re angry about a situation in your business, you need to take a step back. Breathe and exhale a couple of times if you have to, and then say, “Alright, what is making me so angry and how can I fix this?”

MG

And then maybe do some writing?

Tai:

I’ll just look at the situation. Maybe I need to pick up the phone. Believe it or not, talking to someone can be an extreme stress reliever.

MG:

Someone you trust, right, that you know, it goes nowhere else and you’re just going to spit it all out and put it on the table. 

Tai:

Absolutely! Everybody needs a consigliere! A person that you can just let it out, put it on the table, lay your cards down. “This is what’s going on.” It could be a spiritual person. It could be a friend. It could be a relative. It could be a pet!

MG:

I used to talk to my cat all the time!

Tai:

I used to talk to my dogs. I have cats now though they walk away! Joking aside, you have to have that person, your go-to in a pinch.

MG:

Okay, so that’s another one on the list- find a consigliere, someone you can trust.

Tai:

I’ve watched too many godfather movies!

MG:

It’s a great movie. So what else do you do? Is there another layer in between minor and major stress?

How about that mid-level where it’s not going to drive you crazy but suddenly you’re aware that this is getting me a little antsy. What else might you do just to relieve that?

Tai:

So if it’s just getting me uncomfortable and antsy, like you said, I try to find out why is that? Why is this making me uncomfortable? Maybe I need to change the situation around. Sometimes you don’t have to have that stress because you don’t need to deal with whatever that situation is. Right? You can remove yourself from the situation. You don’t have to be a hero to everything and everyone.

MG:

I love what you’re saying because it’s so valuable. For many years, I believed if someone asked me a question, I had to answer it. And, the truth is, you don’t have to answer everybody’s questions, or at least you can say, “I’ll give it some thought” or “I’ll get back to you” or something like that, which I finally learned how to do. And that’s important, because you could be caught off guard and you may say things that you didn’t really have a chance to think about so walking away or putting it off are definitely good ideas. 

The other thing is that you want to be able to come from a place of peace. So, whenever you’re interacting with people and you’re feeling stressed, you’re not necessarily going to feel calm about whatever’s going on in the moment. So I love what you’re saying about realizing you need to shift your focus and consciously breathe. These are all things I talk about too. So we’re on the same page here for sure. And everything you’ve said today is very practical. People think spirituality is all this woowoo stuff and it’s not! Our spiritual nature will teach us the most practical things to do to make us successful in every aspect of our daily life. To me spirituality is practical and being loving is practical. It’s good for business, right?

Tai:

Yes, it’s practical. To me, spirituality is also personal, it comes from within. It has to start within. There’s good and evil everywhere and that’s valid. You can’t appreciate the good without the bad. And I see life that way too. With life comes death and that’s just the way it is. It’s about accepting and appreciating and counting the blessings that I have and hoping that I’ve taken from those lessons and hopefully evolved into a better person.

MG:

Wow, that’s all great stuff. You’ve made some fantastic suggestions here to help people deal with their stress. Thank you so much! Thank you for that and please tell everybody how they can contact you to find out how you can help them.

Tai:

I am looking for people to come on to my show which is called Tai And Gina’s Hot Spot. It airs Wednesday nights on a coast to coast network and will be on YouTube and Facebook channels. If you’re interested in being a guest, you can go to TaiandGinashotspot@gmail.com

MG:

What is the criteria for people being on your show? What kind of people are you looking for? 

Tai:

I’m looking for interesting and unique people. And you don’t have to be a business. You don’t have to be a nonprofit, but you have to bring something, whether it’s a talent, or maybe you do something and you want people to know about it, or maybe you know of something you want to share. I want that interesting X Factor type person. I feel that we are all amazing. Every single one of us is uniquely designed, and we will have something to offer this world. So I want to share what you have to offer. 

MG:

I wish you much success with this new venture and I want to thank you so much for being with all of us who are listening today. It couldn’t have been a better kick off, everything went smoothly. It’s just been great. Good positive energy for the new year. Let us envision health and happiness and well being for this new year. It may take a little while, it may not be instant but as I always say, Everything begins with a thought.” That’s why it’s so important to keep your thoughts in a positive place, a place of upward movement.

We want to have expansive, life affirming and creative thoughts. So, when you notice your thoughts and they’re angry or sad or jealous, as Tai told us today, catch those thoughts and change your perspective so that you can find happy ways to join in and share this life together. So, many blessings, everybody, and have a glorious week in this new year. Until next time,

Remember, everything begins with a thought. So keep those thoughts light!

Love and Peace Always,
MarciaGrace

Exciting news! If you’ve been longing to find a permanent way to release your stress so that you sleep better, feel stronger and more focused, more relaxed and happier with your colleagues and family, watch your inbox for the tips I’ll be sending your way.