It happens to all of us frequently — people and things come into our lives and then they leave.
We have a Mess of Emotions.
Sometimes it’s sudden and sometimes we have time to prepare. Sometimes we’re glad that what or who it was is going away, but many times we’re sad when these comings and goings occur. We’re sad because it means change and our egos do not like change and usually react badly.
Our reactions are often in the form of denial and repression, so we stuff down our feelings and pretend like, “Oh nothing happened it’s not that important. So, what.” But that’s not so good because when we do that, we get sick, we break things, we get angry, we have accidents. That repression will come out in some form or another so, not a good thing to do!
We Get Angry.
Or we can get angry and fearful about the change. We can feel like life is just not fair – “Why is this happening to me? I don’t deserve this.” and we put on this role of ‘poor me’. So, we suffer in silence or bark at everybody who tries to comfort us.
Sometimes Sadness is Appropriate.
I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t feel sad at times when you have a loss like the passing of a loved one, or if you lose your health or your job. A life-altering loss requires a period of mourning. You need to give yourself time to assimilate the new situation into your life.
It’s Crucial to Your Well-Being to Move On.
Yet, and I say this with a very big space, you don’t want to stay there in your grief because it will harm your body. Science is just beginning to understand the connection between emotions and physical and chemical changes in the body that promote disease. You don’t want that!
I’ve Had Many Losses Recently.
These last few months have brought many changes in my life. This last month has been an especially active period of loss and gain. A dear old friend passed, and another moved far away to be near family. I received a new health challenge after having had major eye surgery in April. (Thank God I can see well again after being almost blind for 2 months.) In my business, I lost my assistant, and now must decide what my next course of action will be.
When One Door Closes, Another Opens.
But what I’ve learned is that when something or someone leaves, I have two opposing attitudes I can take:
- I can do the ‘poor me’ routine and wallow in misery (which is a sure path to a spiral into depression), or
- I can take the opportunity to recount all the wonderful things about that person, that relationship, or that situation and savor those memories for a time. And then move on and open myself to the new possibilities that are bound to arrive at any moment.
I hope these thoughts are useful if you are going through big changes. I am here to support you. Let’s talk! Click here to schedule a time that’s good for you.
Changes Are Always Coming.
I expect numerous changes in the year coming up so stay tuned. I hope your Hanukkah has been full of latkes and love. And if you celebrate Christmas, may love be the biggest gift that you give or receive. Also, Blessed Be to all those who celebrate the Winter Solstice and Kwanzaa coming up on December 26th. So, lots and lots to be happy about and to celebrate.
And if, for any reason, you are not able to put on a party hat this year, my heart goes out to you. Let it be. Don’t try to be something that you know that you can’t be right now. The time will come again.
Above all else, please be good to yourself. That’s what I ask of you!
Remember, everything begins with a thought, so notice the thoughts that are hurting you and let them go! Happy Holidays to all!
Love and Peace Always,