My spiritual teaching says that forgiveness is the key to joy. Perhaps this seems too simplistic to you. I can understand that conviction if you have never studied the nature of forgiveness.
Remember when your mother said, “Tell your sister you’re sorry” after you said some mean words that made her cry. Under duress, you said, “I’m sorry” but didn’t mean it.
This is NOT forgiveness! And even if you had meant it, it is still not forgiveness!
I could write a book about forgiveness (and maybe I will someday) but right now let me give a brief explication of what true forgiveness is.
Whenever you hurt another person, physically or emotionally, it is a form of attack. This also applies to hurting yourself, whether by doing some foolish action or thinking some unwholesome thought about yourself. This is also an attack (onto your body) or, as psychologists say, projection.
The attack, or projection, can take many forms. A gesture, a look, angry words, a physical action, emotional or physical withdrawal are just a few.
Where does the desire to attack come from? Simply put, it is an unloving thought you have about yourself which you first deny and push out of awareness. Then, to make sure you never own your self-hatred, you get rid of it by seeing it in your body or someone else’s body. This now makes you a victim of you own attack and therefore unable to correct it.
Sad to say, this is the vicious cycle of attack, denial, projection and refusal of responsibility that fills our days in small and big ways. This is why I said previously that joy is an experience few people have because a joyful person has no need to attack.
Joy is the opposite of attack because attack separates us from loving one another (and ourself) while joy joins us together in the act of loving.
So, the question becomes, “How do I relinquish my unloving thoughts in order not to attack either myself or somebody else?” Ah, not an easy question but the most important one you could ever ask.
Bottom line, the answer is, “forgive yourself.”
Simple but not easy, for many reasons, which is why I would need to write a book about it. 😊
Suffice it to say, it can take a lifetime to learn how to forgive yourself. This is good news! It’s good news because it can happen sooner than later and quicker than slower when you decide that you deserve to have peace and joy as priorities in your life. Again, simple, and easy when you take responsibility for everything you think, say and do. That’s the hard part!
It is hard because we love to play the victim. If you want to say, “Horsefeathers! I’m not a victim!”, ask yourself how many times today you have blamed someone or some thing (a family member, the government, a colleague, the weather, an appliance, etc) for upsetting you. I rest my case.
The good news is that the more you catch yourself feeling victimized, acknowledge your complicity, and desire to release it, the easier it becomes.
You have a ‘Master Switch’ within your mind that you can choose to flip on, and when you do, you will receive the help to let your victimhood go.
If you want to learn how to access your ‘Master Switch’, I’m available for a free ½ hour exploratory call.
Peace and Love always
And remember, Everything Begins with a Thought
In my new book, Calm, Creative, Joyful: Lessons in Transforming Your Life, you will acquire abilities you didn’t know you had, to transform the thoughts that hurt so that your life becomes a play of endless opportunities for success and happiness.
Available on Amazon.
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