Hello lovely ladies! My goal, as always, is to help you nurture your Abundance Mentality in your business and personal life. This is work that often begins by uncovering the blocks we put up to attaining our dreams.
Today I want to discuss one of those blocks. And that is the fear of success. So let me start with this quote from A Course in Miracles teacher, Marianne Williamson who ran for president in the last election. Most people know her for her politics, but she has a long history as a spiritual teacher. This comes from her book, A Return to Love:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do.”
Her point here is that we are not so afraid of failure as we are of success. Logically, it doesn’t seem to make sense. Why should we be afraid to be successful?
Well, I think you probably are aware how difficult it is to accept change. Most of us have a hard time with change, we’re comfortable with things as they are, even if we’re not ecstatically happy. We say, “This is okay, I’m managing. I don’t like surprises so I prefer to stay right where I am.”
This is what the problem is, because if you want to be successful, change has to be an everyday occurrence. You have to be excited about change, you have to want change, you have to go out and seek it through learning, through making new relationships, through trying new things in your business. That’s the only way you’re going to succeed.
It is crucial, then, that we acknowledge our resistance to changes. Everybody has it, but we want to own it so we can move ahead from there.
This business of changing is hard, and it can be stressful of course. That’s why I’m here to talk about ways to deal with the stress as you confront changes, so that you can be successful and joyful. If you set big goals, but you can’t really see yourself achieving them, for instance, you want to have a business with 100 employees, but maybe you really don’t see yourself being capable of dealing with that many people, you’re undermining your own goals.
So, the first step is to admit that you have doubts about your ability to achieve your goal.
“I don’t see myself being successful. I see that my problem is my scarcity mindset, and I can’t wait to take steps to change that, so I can achieve my goals.”
Is that you?
“I think I have a scarcity mindset, but I’m feeling bummed about that. It makes me feel worse. And I don’t know if I can change.”
“This is crazy. I have huge goals and I know I can achieve them. But something’s missing.”
Do you say that to yourself?
Or this last one,
“This might describe me a little, but I don’t think that it’s holding me back all that much.”
That’s the one is deep in denial! If that’s you, it may be hard to admit that.
But if you can admit to any of these statements, if any of these resonate for you in any way, then, you are acknowledging that fear of success is holding you back and that’s a good thing, that’s a necessary thing.
You can’t move ahead if you’re denying what’s right in front of your face –if you’re not having the success you want, if you’re not having the best relationships, if you’re fighting with your kids or your spouse.
if you are not experiencing total peace and joy, 24/7, then guess what, you have a fear of success! We all have different layers and levels of fear. It’s how humans cope. But if you can recognize any of these things, then great, that’s the first step.
So, the next step, and this is my suggestion for this week, I would ask you to spend time exploring the lessons that you learned as a child from the grownups around you.
~ What did your parents teach you about money?
~Were you praised for good effort and/or admonished for mistakes you made?
~What were you told about how to comport yourself. Should you be shy and retiring, and only speak when spoken to?
We’re all different ages and come from different backgrounds, so each of us has a different set of memories from our childhood that taught us how to be, how to consider ourself. We are a combination of the specific learned behaviors from our past.
Think about these things, because those are quite possibly the blocks that are holding you back, and they’re so ingrained, so deep down in your subconscious that you’re not even aware of how they affect your daily life.
Therefore, it’s really important that you spend the time, even if it’s five minutes, and even better, if you can write these things down because, (you’ve heard me say this over and over again) — once you write something down, you really have made a commitment to understanding yourself better and are well on the way to growing from that awareness.
I’m not a psychologist but I do care deeply about helping you. I specialize in working with stressed out businesswomen to achieve an abundance mentality so that you can have everything you want in your life and have your dreams fulfilled.
So, that’s the work, I did years and years of my own work. And believe me, I was that shy little retiring kid who only spoke when spoken to. I know what that’s like. It took a lot of tears and working through anger to overcome those deep-seated ingrained beliefs stemming from my childhood.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s important to be gentle with yourself. When a new realization comes forth, it can knock you off your feet. But when you get up, you have a new, more empowered sense of yourself and what you can accomplish!
If you found this helpful, please pass it on to someone else who you think would benefit from it.
By now I hope you know that I teach busy businesswomen how to start the day with intention and an Abundant Mentality. If you would like to have a 30-minute chat with me to uncover some of the blocks that are keeping you from the success that an abundant mentality will offer you, drop me an email. Put in the subject line, “Chat” and then I will send you my calendar to set up a time.
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It’s a place where we can talk to each other; we can express our feelings and our thoughts about any issue. I hope you can take advantage!
Peace and Love Always,
Everything Begins with a Thought
In my new book, Calm, Creative, Joyful: Lessons in Transforming Your Life, you will acquire abilities you didn’t know you had, to transform the thoughts that hurt so that your life becomes a play of endless opportunities for success and happiness.
Available on Amazon.
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